Countdown!

I have been out of touch for awhile, but most of you know that I have been doing very well.  I have 6 more radiation treatments left.  Today was my last treatment of the whole breast area.  The last six will be concentrated to where the tumor was.  My breast is burnt, but it doesn't really bother me.  I really haven't had any problems.  I have had a few days where I have been a little more tired than normal, but we all have those days. I think the fact that I usually have massive amounts of energy has helped.  As far as the tamoxifen, I haven't noticed too many side effects either. I sometimes get nauseous, but no big deal.  I have a few hot flashes every day, but they are very mild and don't bother me.  I haven't gained weight ( actually lost 2 pounds). I'm not crabby. No night sweats.  No trouble sleeping.  It's all good.  The worst part has been leaving work to drive each day to my appointment and hurrying to get back before my students retrun from lunch and specials. It helps I like to talk on the phone, so people keep me company on my drive!
Bottom line:  I am doing better than I thought I would.  I am happier than I thought I would be.  I am near the end and that makes me really, really happy!!!

Treatment Day 2- Oct. 26

Today did not start off well.  I woke up with the same headache.  I did not sleep well, and I am a terrific sleeper.  Sleep problems are a side effect of the medicine. I was so nauseous that I felt like I was pregnant ( NO, I AM NOT!!!) .  I did not want to take my tamoxifen (hormone reducing pill).  I mean I really did not want to take it.  It’s so hard to take something that I know will make me feel like crap! Plus, I am not taking this to cure the cancer- that’s what surgery and radiation are for.  I’m taking it to prevent the chance of a reoccurrence. I still could have a reoccurrence . BUT, I still have to take it. Another side effect is I am so emotional. I just keep crying like a girl, and I am not a crier! Geesh!   The side effects are worse because I am so emotional about the side effects (which is a side effect)  Follow??? So, with lots of tears in my eyes, I called a friend to help me (tell me) to take that DAMN pill!!  I did it!! YAY!

Radiation was off schedule because everyone was in a tornado drill for the tornado warning out. Once the warning was over, treatment was uneventful, as it should be for a few more weeks.

So, to look for the silver lining in today.  I am blessed.  I have great family, friends, kids, co- workers and a job  I love.  I don’t have to have chemo and I have it WAY better than many people in this world!  God is good!

Radiation : 2 down....33 to go

Tamoxifen:  2 down...... 4 years and 363 days to go

Oct. 25...Treatment Begins!

So today was the day.  I decided to start taking my tamoxifen ( hormonal therapy pills) today since I knew I would start radiation today as well.  I swallowed that sucker with only a few tears in my eyes.  Besides, I figured I wouldn't see any side effects for days.  At 12:45pm, I went to radiation.  I just laid on a big table with a machine above me.  They took a bunch of x-rays and then did the treatment. It only took about 10 min.  I just lay there and listened to an annoying buzzing noise. Easy.  I then saw the doctor and she said she doesn't expect for me to have any burns or extreme fatugue until about the 4th week.
After I left, I noticed I was starving and I had just eaten lunch a few hours earlier and I had a headache. I almost never get headaches.  Then, a few hours later, I had my first hot flash.  It was mild, but I have had 3 more since this afternoon and despite some headache pills, I still have a headache.  So much for thinking side effects wouldn't start for awhile.  I will have to watch what I eat, find a headache relief pill, deal with hot flashes and more!!  I give praises to women who have gone through menopause.  Maybe I won't have all the other side effects!  Yet, I tell myself I am lucky my tumor was estrogen postive so that I could take a pill to prevent reoccurrence. Others are not as lucky.  I am also lucky that I was able to have the choice to keep my breast so that I could have radiaiton.  Others do not have that choice.  I think seven weeks of radiation and 5 years of hormonal therapy are not the worst things in the world in order to not have cancer!  
Raditaion Plan:   1 down..... 34 more to go!! 

Radiation Simulation- Oct. 15

So, I went in on Friday afternoon for radiation simulation.  They had a hard time positioning me to where the doctor was happy.  Once I was in position, they did a CAT scan and gave me my tatoos.  They are not nearly as bad as I envisioned.  I have two dots on my right breast, one under each arm and one on each side of my waist.  They injected the ink with a needle and it just felt like a shot.  They finished off by taking lots of pictures of the proper positioning.  I tried to imagine that I had the body of a Playboy model and they were taking my topless photos for the cover, but somehow, laying on that hard medical table with a lovely hospital gown on, I just couldn't imagine. 
The not so good news is the doctor said that radiation is going to pull my skin up tighter towards my scar and make my breast smaller and hard. She thinks I will have lots of scar tissue and wants me to go to physical therapy. She also stated that because my scar is unique ( it has a deep fold in it that could easily hold a pencil or two and is about 4 inches long), I will most likely have a severe reaction to the radiation- meaning burnt badly.  Yucky!!!  At first I was upset, but then I remembered that I chose a lumpectomy with radiation instead of a mascetomy in order to keep my breast!  So again, I am okay with my dented, scarred, deep folded, soon to be hard and burnt breast.  Actually, I am happy with it!!! 
I should start radiation next Monday!   I will keep you all posted.
I also have my script filled for my tamoxifen, but still haven't started taking it yet.  I promise I will- just thought I would wait until I start radiation.  I figure if I am going to feel bad, it might as well be all at the same time.

Chemo????

So, today was the big today. Thank goodness, I was so swamped helping my adorable students that I didn't have time to be too nervous until about an hour before the appointment.  The Oncotype DX test revealed a score of 8 on a scale of 0 to 100.  The lower the score the better. I have a 6%  chance of this cancer coming back in the next ten years.  For you mathematical people- that's about 1 out of 20 people with my socre will have a reoccurence.  I needed a score of less than 17.  Bottom line: I DON'T NEED CHEMO! I DON'T NEED CHEMO!   Happy Day!! Happy Day!!!!
Funny thing is my mom was with me, and I started crying as soon as I heard the score because I was so happy.  She thought I was crying because I needed chemo.
 God has answered another prayer!  Despite this cancer, I feel blessed everyday.  I feel God's presence in my life and feel the strength He has given me through all of this. 
The first thing I did when I left the doctor was to call to make my hair appointment for a cut and color. I will never again complain when I have to hand over $100 bucks every time I have to get my hair done.  I have hair that needs to get done!  HAIR IS GOOD!!!! 
I pray for all those who are having to go through chemo and all the women who have to lose their hair.  I felt so vain that I was so upset about the thought of losing my hair.  It's just hair, but still it is a big deal to lose it.  It seems that I can't stop running my fingers through my hair and just feeling so thankful.
The other highlight of my day was greeting my boys at the bus stop with the good news.  They were very happy!!  Every day is a blessing, but today is a special blessing!
I go to the radiologist next Friday for my simulation of treatments.  I think I will get a CAT  scan and some tatoos to mark where the radation will begin. Treatment will be 5 days a week for 7 weeks.
I will also be starting the tamoxifen here sometime this week.  I pray the hot flashes will be tolerable.  Please keep me in your prayers as I begin treatment and I will keep you all updated.  God Bless!

Sept. 21- Oncologist

Well, today I finally met the oncologist.  He said that my cancer looks pretty good and has a fairly low risk of reoccurence ( 10-15%).  If I were past menopause, he wouldn't recommend chemo. Since I am not, he is going to run one more test, which will give the exact reoccurence percent and then we will determine if I need chemo or not. He thinks my score should come back low, but I do not want to get my hopes up.  The test results will be in two weeks.  This means I have 2 weeks to feel like me and be normal.   Yay normal!!!

Sept. 14th- I have a ????

Back to the surgeon today for a check up on my second surgery.  I still had some swelling, hardness and discomfort, but thought it was normal. Well, when she looked at me, she said that I now have developed a seroma- a fluid build up.  She said that I could leave it for my body to absorb over time or get it drained to ease discomfort, but it would come back.  I said "Drain it, I've been wearing two bras".  So, she takes me in another room, numbs my breast and drains about 90cc of fluid out. She proceeds to tell me that my breast will now have a huge dent in it until it fills back up.  The hope is that the fluid will take longer to come back and less fluid each time. I can have it drained each time or tough it out.  Well, I instantly felt better and was so happy she drained it.  I couldn't wait to get home for my long, daily walk.  My walks have been my sense of peace and comfort. 
So, it looks as if this is going to be an inconvenience, but it's okay.  I have my breast.  I still love my saggy, droopy, hematoma, seroma, scarred, dented in breast!!!!

Sept. 12th

Rough Day!  Not sure why?  I have been on the verge of tears all day.  I just don't want to have to go through all this.  I really don't want chemo and I hate not knowing if I will need it or not.  I don't want radiation.  I really, really do not want to take a drug to put me in immediate, drug induced menopause.  Tomorrow will be better! 

Sept. 10th

Good news!  Around 3:00 today, the surgeon called me with my HER-2 results ( the test they had to do again).  It came back 1.6, which is negative!   YAY!  This is huge news.  This means my cancer is not super aggressive and puts me in a lower risk of reoccurence.  This should help lower the chance I need chemo.  I was again overwhelmed with the good news. God is working in my life.  I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Sept. 9th

OUCH!  I woke up in quite a bot of more pain this time.  I guess that's a good thing, so I won't overdo it.  Luckily, I still am not in a ton of pain- no pain med needed. I promise to take it easy this time.

Sept. 8th

Surgery Day
Surgery was moved up an hour- but it ended up that it actually didn't get started untl about 90 minutes late.  When I woke up, the surgeon said that she got about 200 cc of blood out, which was a lot.   I was glad to get home and have the surgery done with.  Brandon was worried about me, so he came over for a few hours, but once he knew I was okay, he headed back to his dad's. 

Sept. 7th

I am finally getting around to updating everyone. First and foremost, thank you all so much for your prayers and support. I feel blessed to know so many wonderful people in my life. It's amazing how much my life has changed in a few short weeks. After the initial, devastating phone call, I knew I would never be the same- I would be better, stronger and so much more appreciative of every single day! Then came all the tests which would first determine if I was going to get to keep my breasts. The day I heard that I could keep my boobs was honestly in the top 10 of happy days of my life. I vowed to never complain about my saggy droopy breasts- I love my saggy, droopy breasts.


I had the lumpectomy last Wednesday. The surgery went very well. I was not in very much pain. They got clear margins and my lymph nodes were clear- praise God! - another answered prayer. I was feeling so good that I decided to take a long walk and clean my house. Well, I burst a blood vessel and developed a large, painful hematoma ( collection of blood at the surgery site) . So now, I have one breast that is a D cup and the other one at least a DDD. My mom gave me a boob pad for my non-hematoma hooter to even me out. Whew baby- I was sporting some gigantic boobs, with the most interesting arrays of colors I have ever seen. Well, today at my post op checkup, the surgeon said that I need to head back to surgery tomorrow to vacuum out the hematoma ( isn't it ironic that I think when I vacuumed the house is when I caused all this and now they have to vacuum out me) . Actually, think it's kind of funny.

I am waiting on one more important test result and then I will meet with the oncologist to see about chemo. I SO hope not! I will definitely need 7 weeks of daily radiation. If I need chemo, it will come first and then radiation. I will have to take a pill for five years that lowers my estrogen- my tumor absolutely loved my estrogen, which they say is a good thing. This pill will instantly put me into full blown menopause, with the lovely side effects of hot flashes, night sweats, weight gain, and general crabbiness. Good news is I'll be done with menopause long before all you all and then I can laugh at you when you get hot flashes- just kidding- well, maybe not!

So, for all you nerds, like me, here's all the scientific stuff. I have invasive ductile carcinoma. Grade 1 ( this is good). Estrogen and progestin positive ( this is good too), tumor size was 1.1 cm ( under 1 cm is best, but under 2 cm is still good). Stage 1 cancer. HER-2 status ( 1.8 , which is in the middle and this is being retested- a score above 2.2 means the cancer was aggressive and chemo will definitely be needed)

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Again, thank you for the prayers, cards, emails, meals, everything! I honestly do not feel sad for myself- I feel blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. Hugs and kisses!

Renee